1. When your stuff goes missing, you bet they have it.
“Oh, you wanted to wear these tonight? Fine. I guess.”
3. You take them dancing, and they’re not even into it.
Why’d you even come with me? To ruin MY night???
4. If they’re in a bad mood, they’ll bring you down too.
“Oh yeah, playing with this string thing is super fun.”
5. Whenever they get a job, they’re fired in like two weeks.
You’re a terrible cashier.
8. They spend so much money at the salon.
Seriously, how do they even afford that?
9. EVERYTHING scares them.
“Was that a sock you flung across the room? Scared the shit out of me.”
10. But then they’ll attack something six times their size.
What is their logic?!
11. They hate ducks.
They probably hate all cute things.
13. Cats never understand anything you say to them.
14. Anything can distract them.
It’s like they don’t even care about what you’re saying.
15. They’re very dismissive when you share your opinion with them.
SHUT UP CAT! I’m trying to talk!!
16. Backseat driving. They do it ALL THE TIME.
I know, I should have taken that exit. I just missed it. Stop making me feel like a failure.
23. They’re so needy.
Where am I supposed to find all this milk that you want?
25. You can tell them the most AMAZING story…
…about how you defended an old lady from a robber by beating him up…
26. …but cats never show any real emotions.
That feels like a very obligatory high-five. Did you even mean it?
27. They’re SO hard to impress!
Is anything ever good enough??
29. …and have so much musical talent.
You’re not a real DJ, cat.
Next week, 30 reasons why monkeys are the worst musicians.
Until then, let’s all hate cats like we already do.